Polls Show Bernie is More Electable Than Hillary!

As of last week, almost every poll worth following has Bernie Sanders leading in New Hampshire and Iowa. Seeing as those two states set the tempo for the primary, this is a huge win for Sanders. For months we've been hearing that old self-fulfilling prophecy about how everyone likes a certain candidate, but they can't possibly win. This election cycle started off with that candidate being everyone's favorite curmudgeon, Bernie Sanders. But these recent polls are telling us a very different story about the likelihood of a Sanders presidency. And Hillary Clinton is shaking from her shoulder pads down to her sensible shoes over this revelation.

If Clinton wants to complete the long journey from Watergate to the White House, she needs to go after Sanders. But what will she and her heavily-funded minions use to attack him?

Their first move was to go after Sanders as someone who wouldn't be tough on Wall Street. Honestly, this accusation is so fucking stupid that I'm not going to bother quoting their moronic line of reasoning on it. It's not worth the wear and tear on my keyboard to type out such stupidity. I'm sure that Sanders nearly laughed himself out of his Southwest Airlines coach seat when he heard that he's Wall Street's man. Not even Clinton has enough name recognition, money, or skilled advisors to make that claim land.

However, her claim that she's more electable than Sanders takes a bit more work to dismiss. It doesn't have that sense that it was something uttered by a drunken, sixth grade, Nancy Grace running for school treasurer. It's actually pretty believable. She's a former First Lady, a former Senator, and the former Secretary of State. She's a career politician, with no shortage of accolades, scandals, and name recognition to back up her run in any traditional presidential race.

What nobody seems to have told Clinton is that this is no traditional race. This is the year of the outsider. The underdogs are rising on both sides of the aisle. Trump is still leading the Republicans, which isn't just because there are a lot more bigoted, possum eating people, trolling their family reunions for a hot piece of three-toothed ass in this country than we previously realized. It's also because people are tired of standard politicians. Traditional politics haven't worked for a very long time, and the people are finally doing something about it! Granted, a lot of them are fucking this revolutionary move up (Trump supporters), but we have to start somewhere.

Unable to understand or adjust to the nuances of this campaign, the Clinton camp is going to run with the accusation that a Sanders ticket will lead to a Trump White House. They'll ride that idea all the way to the stage of her concession speech. If you don't believe me, the Wall Street Journal released a poll that gives a lot of credence to a claim that many of us have made from day one: Bernie Sanders can absolutely win if he's elected in the primary.

According to last week's WSJ poll based on current figures, a Clinton/Trump card in the key primary states would end with Clinton 48% and Trump 40% in Iowa, and 45% to 44% in favor of Clinton in New Hampshire. That's not much of a lead in those crucial swing states, and does very little to support Clinton's claim that she's the antidote to a Trump presidency. That same poll found that if it comes to Sanders vs. Trump, the result would be Sanders 51% to Trump's 38% in Iowa, and Sanders 56%, Trump 37% in New Hampshire. That's an unholy ass whoopin' delivered by the guy who 'can't win.' Those numbers are staggering and definite next to Clinton's.

Unfortunately, we have to account for Ted Cruz as well. He's been gaining momentum, and may be able to take the lead. While he's likely just as insane as Donald Trump, he has actual campaign experience. Despite being blatantly full of shit, and having the face of a possessed kitten trying to look empathetic, he's managed to actually win a few political elections in his career. So, what would the verdict be if Cruz got the Republican nomination? He would beat Clinton 48% to 44% in New Hampshire, and he would need years of therapy to get over the image of 'Sanders 55%, Cruz 36%' that would be playing on a loop in his head.

You may think that these results are just the findings of one poll, but the fact of the matter is that these are trends throughout the nation. Clinton's lead has been falling rapidly, while Sanders has been rising dramatically, despite the modesty of his campaign budget and the fact that major media seems to have a pact amongst each other to collectively ignore him for as long as possible. This trend of Bernie rising while Hillary falls started shortly after the televised debates started, eliminating the ability of the media to ignore him, which shows us that his message resonates with voters, they just need to hear it.

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